I just love camp fires. The ambiance it sets, the warmth it brings, the conversations it inspires and friendships it bonds.
Last night I was sitting around a camp fire with some friends. The serenity of the bush and the still darkness of the night were magical. I was fortunate enough to engage in a conversation with a great mate of mine who I admire, trust and respect. I have known him for about 7 years, however last night I got to know him on a deeper level (keep you minds above water here ladies, simply platonic). It’s interesting to contemplate how well do we really ever know someone? What is their past, their goals and their aspirations on a day to day basis? It’s not often I encounter these conversations with males, other than my husband.
It was such a cool conversation and I learnt so much about the stature of my friend as a man.
I learnt that he had given up one of his kidneys for someone who had needed it within his circle. I discovered he had a brother who had died several years ago and how he feels immense guilt for not being able to help and save him. Whilst I was listening to his journey, I so wanted to share with him parts of mine, because we were so similar on several levels. However I didn’t. I just sat and listened and in this moment I realised that this is what my friend needed; someone to listen to him, without judgement to be able to discover and to wonder and to ponder in a safe environment. I learnt from listening to my mate, that he is on a path and a yearning to help others. He feels this is a ‘Pay It Forward’ type of thing from when he was younger and someone helped straighten him out. He said he is forever grateful for the mentors he had in his younger years that helped steer him in the right direction.
Throughout our conversation I couldn’t help but notice and feel his pain and so much of me wanted to cuddle this big statue of a man, but I refrained and just let him be. He is on such an interesting path and so badly wants to help and guide others that he could be forgetting just one thing…
This topic of conversation lead me to an ‘ah ha’ moment and the question I asked myself was, “if our purpose is to help others, do we first need to help ourselves?”
I believe it’s both yes and no (I know, how can it be both? Well in this instance it is ok…hehe). First, I believe that YES you need to be comfortable with who you are and I believe if you are this then your purpose can flow and NO because the healing process is a journey.
As I was writing this I was interrupted by my beautiful 13 year old daughter who had just woken up and wanted to jump on my knee for a cuddle. I could have (and probably years ago would have) said ‘hang on a minute love Mum needs to finish this sentence’ but instead I was living in the absolute present moment. Feeling her warm snuggling body on my lap was beautiful and priceless and whilst it only lasted a few minutes and she was off on her daily thing, I was grateful for that moment in Motherhood.
So now she’s off doing her thing and I am back to writing, a win / win.
Ok back to where it all began, so yes healing is about the journey. You know a really cool science about our bodies is that it will always keep healing itself from the outside. By this I mean we could cut ourselves every day for a year in the same place and every day our bodies will naturally continue to heal that wound from the outside in or is it from the inside out?
Our minds need this healing process and it can be achieved by following your passion and your purpose.
I know for me, styling women (and men) is a combination of enabling myself and others. I enable myself by moving within my passion for stying and assisting others. I serve my purpose by enabling my clients to heal their emotional wounds or change their stories of ‘I’m not beautiful’ or ‘my body is ugly’. Styling women is a privilege and is far more than clothing. By enabling a woman to start to see her many attributes and inner beauty magnified in her presentation, to watch her confidence and self esteem rise and thus create opportunities for her to move forward in her career or general life, is a passion and my purpose.
So the next time you have the opportunity to sit quietly and listen to someone’s story; a time where your inner voice is screaming to be heard or to give advice; think of this story of me and my mate around a bonfire and the gift we gave to each other. Styling the life we live is the greatest style secret there is.